A lovely & brown 20-something year old living life as happy as possible. Chronically ill/disabled, ridiculous artisan soapmaker, writer and all around hopeful human being.
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Porn's influence is real. Sex education is the answer →

aka14kgold:

And that sex education MUST be based on enthusiastic consent.

In part because I seriously doubt that boys past age 4 or 5 will ever be capable of learning to be less self-absorbed when it comes to sex; consequently, trying to teach, say, a teenage boy that their partner’s pleasure must also be attended to may be futile. They’re gonna keep thinking with their dicks; what’s significant about the stuff mentioned above is how obviously consent—i.e., respecting someone else’s humanity and not treating them as an object—does not seem to occur to so many men. That’s why I say age 4 or 5; you’ve got to catch them really early to make their personalities partner-focused, but you can modify their *behaviors* later than that (not that it will necessarily work; but it works more when it’s attempted than when it’s not).

(Source: yoursocialconstructsareshowing)

ICE accused of sexually abusing detainees

TW: Sexual abuse, abuse

univisionnews:

By JUAN GASTELUM
Channel: Immigration  

Nearly 200 immigration detainees allege that they were sexually abused while being held at detention centers across the country since 2007, according to government documents obtained by the American Civil Liberties Union.

 The documents reveal allegations by detainees in nearly all states that house immigration detention facilities, suggesting widespread sexual abuse within the system.

 The ACLU released the information obtained from several agencies, including the Department of Homeland Security, on Wednesday—the same day its Texas chapter filed a lawsuit on behalf of three immigrant women who say they were sexually assaulted while in the custody of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) at a detention center in Taylor, Texas.

 “The fact that these women sought sanctuary in the United States – only to find abuse at the hands of officials they thought would protect them – is wholly inconsistent with America’s self-proclaimed reputation as a beacon of human rights and protector of human dignity,” Lisa Graybill, legal director for the ACLU of Texas, said.

(Source: thisisfusion)

The Dandy Lioness: Helpful and harmful things to say to a victim of sexual abuse: →

Helpful:

  • “You’re doing a great job dealing with the situation.”
  • “What you are doing is very difficult and you’ve done so much already (list her actions).”
  • “It sounds like you have really thought a lot about the situation and what you want to do.”
  • “You really care a lot about your children. You are a wonderful mom.”
  • “You are not to blame for being abused.”
  • “You are not the cause of another’s violent behavior.”
  • “You deserve to be treated with respect.”
  • “You deserve to make your life safe and happy.”
  • “You are not alone. You can ask/have asked others to help you.”
  • “Things may be different now than before, and you and your children may have a different routine, but it may help you and your children live safely.”
  • “I am glad you are here with me now.”
  • “I’m sorry it happened.”
  • “It wasn’t your fault.”
  • “It is ok for you to feel _______________.”
  • “You are not going crazy.”
  • “Things may never be same, but they can be better.”

Harmful:

  • “I understand.”
  • “You’re lucky that….”
  • “You’ll get over it, it will just take a little time.”
  • “I know how you feel.”
  • “Everything will be alright, don’t worry.”
  • “Try to be strong for your children.”
  • “Calm down and try to relax.”
  • “Why didn’t you________________?”
  • “I think you should _______________.”

(Source: crimevictimservices.org, via thefemcritique)