A lovely & brown 20-something year old living life as happy as possible. Chronically ill/disabled, ridiculous artisan soapmaker, writer and all around hopeful human being.
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(I’m gonna go and love myself and quiet my soul down and hug it like it deserves. )

I have health issues that are aggravated by stress & my blood pressure is at a boiling point so I’m signing off.

This is not me throwing in the towel or remaining silent.
This is me saying, fuck you

and your ignorance.

Just Don’t Take It Personal

After my immigration appointment (which went great by the way) my momma and I went to Walmart.

We had to buy meds & milk and all the stores around here are really not affordable so, Walmart is the place to shop. The closest Walmart is a city over from where I live right now. This is about 20 minutes away from Oakland. No, I won’t say the city even though I am tempted to just because this little gem of an experience makes me want all hell to break lose on them. But I won’t. Reigning in the anger.

We got what we needed and we were going to leave until I saw… sales racks! Yes, tons of sales racks in the women’s clothing section. I have been needing new clothes and thrift store shopping can only take me so far. So, hell yeah, I hit them up. I hit them up real hard because the prices were amazing. I’m talking 9 dollars highest, 3 dollars lowest.

While we were checking out the clothes my mom pointed out that two employees were watching us and following us around. I hadn’t even noticed because I was so enthralled with the clothes. Once my mom pointed it out, I couldn’t help but see them whisper, look us up and down, look in our cart, all while pretending to do something by moving around sales clothes which were all in their right place to begin with. Where we went, they were sure to follow.

This shit irritated me. It went from irritating to really pissing me off because we weren’t the only shoppers. But, we were the only non-white shoppers at the sales rack. I said, fuck it in my head and headed for the dressing room. As I was dressing I kept hearing people ask my mom if she needed help, why she was standing there, was she sure she didn’t need help? She kept repeating “I’m waiting for my daughter.” I could hear her anger rising. Her accent becomes more sharp when she’s pissed. She was getting there.

Once we were heading to the check out stand, I saw one of the employees who followed us run up (no, really, she literally ran from the women’s section to the cash register) to the cashier and pulled her aside. She whispered to her. I asked, “Is there a problem?” I was ignored.

When the cashier began ringing up my purchase right after the other employee left, I asked her, “Was there a problem?” She simply replied, “That was the manager.” I then said, “Okay. But is there a problem?” She ignored me. She just began ringing up my things.

When she began on the clothes, all hell broke loose. She started making faces as if in disbelief and then taking the tag and picking at the sale sticker as if to see if the sticker was REALLY put on there by a price gun, not me. I asked her, “What are you doing? Is there a problem?” She ignored me.

She kept doing this and the rage inside of me kept growing. I said several things including, “Are you kidding me?! If you don’t believe these clothes are for sale, you can go to the back and see the racks full of the very same dresses & shirts for sale.”

She looked scared. She looked like I was pulling a gun on her.

Yet, she somehow found the confidence to say, “Well, all those clothes came out to 68.72…. Somehow.”

It only got worse when my mom’s clothes and items were rung up.  She acted as if the shoes (which were also on sale) were not the really on sale. She said “No, I have to check the shoes on the inside to see if they are the same.” When my mom asked her if there was a problem because she was acting confused.

She held up a hanger with 2 sports bras. She said real loud, “Why are there two bra’s on this hanger?! Did you add one?” I was raging by now. There was a giant 2 PACK emblem on the hanger/carton tag thing.

"Are you fucking serious? It says its a 2 pack. I don’t know what your manager told you but this isn’t acceptable." She went right back to being quiet as a mouse.

After all this shit I wanted to talk to a manager. I got someone else to bring one that wasn’t the one that followed us around. I told this manager everything that happened. People that walked by were staring. Some pretending to be enthralled by the gold fish crackers display.

Halfway through the manager looked at me exasperated and said, “Don’t take it personal.”

I said, “Excuse me???”

"Don’t take it personal. Perhaps, you were doing something that was suspicious behavior."

"By suspicious, do you fucking mean being brown, speaking Spanish and laughing while shopping a sales rack?!"

"If I were you I wouldn’t take it personal."

To this I said


"No. Don’t even say that. You aren’t me. And you sure as hell won’t ever understand what this shit is like. It isn’t okay. Fuck this bullshit. It is everything that is personal."

FUCK NOT BEING ABLE TO SHOP IN PEACE WITH MY MOTHER.

FUCK YOUR RACIST ASSUMPTIONS THAT I MUST BE STEALING BECAUSE I AM BROWN AND SPEAKING SPANISH.

FUCK RACIST TRASH.

FUCK THIS BEING IN THE BAY AREA. YES, THIS SHIT STILL HAPPENS.

(Source: nuestrahermana)

Trigger Warning: Picture of Kelly Thomas After being assulted by Fullerton PD. →

original posting as to why this picture is put up here… click here. (also, trigger warning).

(Source: mrchadrules)

TRIGGER WARNING: Abuse, police brutality, racism, murder


Alright everyone, I am posting this because I live in the bay area in California and it hits close to home, literally. After absolutely horrid police murders like Oscar Grant and this Kelly Thomas being beaten to death on July 5th, 2011, I believe what this teacher is doing (opening a dialogue about racism, police brutality and abuse) is vital to the healing and survival of people of color and especially, teens of color in our state & country.

It is disgusting and I am not saying this lightly. Please be warned that this video can trigger and more than likely will cause you to cry.

Please reblog if you can. I would like this teacher to be able to receive feedback and advice on how to approach subjects like this.

He asks for help here originally.

mrchadrules:

Something I know I can’t show in class.

Notice how many people stand watching as police beat mentally ill Kelly Thomas to death as he screams for his daddy.

notime4yourshit:

karnythia:

sourcedumal:

theafrosistuh:

howtobenoladarling:

sourcedumal:

howtobenoladarling:

theafrosistuh:

howtobenoladarling:

theafrosistuh:

sapphrikah:

onikaisthenewblack:
Aaaaand….Goodnight.
zebablah:

-gemmadoyle:

ja-sei-namorar:

Just gonna leave this here…

oh

ugh what the fuck
in other news homeboy in the top right hand corner could get it 


original comment “aaaaand… goodnight” had me laughing.
It’s one thing to love despite race, but to specifically like those of color, that’s fetishizing, and ridiculous. And go someone CFWG on the cover. Just, go away.
Ugh, add to list of faces I’d like to punch.

This makes me want to blow something up.

This makes me want to go to her house and never mind the govt may be watching. but basically she goes through every race including the Jewish one (yea because i didnt know they were a race? (they arent!) and basically she gives advice on how to date them. You know because men of color come with alot of baggage and if you wanna get your kinks you best know how to tell them your not a racist or making a fetish of them and their culture!

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!! AND THIS SHIT WAS PUBLISHED?!?!?! I dont want to live on this fucking planet anymore.

Published! and shes now a “leading expert ON interracial dating” LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Why the HELL is a white woman the “leading expert on IR dating??” WHY??? *facepalm* I’m going back to staring at sexy skrippah dude, cuz this shit is raising my blood pressure…

I still dont want to live on this planet anymore. And Im taking my skripper dude wit me lol (but i’m srs! he’s mine!)

The amount of white privilege even on the cover of that book is just the beginning of the fucking problem to me.  To think that you are so wonderful, that you can write a BOOK about how to date OUTSIDE OF YOUR RACE.  WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS HOE.  And the book is titles “I got the Fever”!!!! Bloody Mary and Joseph!! This whole entire thing makes me so angry.  So fuckin angry.  This is a fetishization of men of color.  For WHITE CONSUMPTION.  I can’t.

I just KNOW the shit will be full of stereotypes. And I love how this white woman thinks she knows MoC better than WoC do. No bitch…Just…NO…. Sitcho five dolla ass DOWN.

Well, I love the implication that the only interracial dating is between white people & POC. Also all MOC love the porcelain white vagina. Except you know not. A book written by a white woman for white women with a fetish…why do I suspect part of her advice includes navigating life with their mean mean female relatives?

Every man with melanin & a pulse is so desperate they drop their pants & standards for an amnesty hump from Kitty Forman? Mk.

The fact that this woman doesn’t understand the racist implications of this cover. The fact that a white woman is now seen as the “leading expert in interracial relationships”. The fact that white with a POC is seen as the standard for an interracial relationship. The fact that a publishing house found this acceptable. The fact that all the men on this cover look like they were carved out of stone. The fact that this book is titled “I Got The Fever”.
The fact that all of the above is seen as acceptable, especially to literature is the reason POC & WOC are still very much being exoticized. 

notime4yourshit:

karnythia:

sourcedumal:

theafrosistuh:

howtobenoladarling:

sourcedumal:

howtobenoladarling:

theafrosistuh:

howtobenoladarling:

theafrosistuh:

sapphrikah:

onikaisthenewblack:

Aaaaand….Goodnight.

zebablah:

-gemmadoyle:

ja-sei-namorar:

Just gonna leave this here…

oh

ugh what the fuck

in other news homeboy in the top right hand corner could get it 

original comment “aaaaand… goodnight” had me laughing.

It’s one thing to love despite race, but to specifically like those of color, that’s fetishizing, and ridiculous. And go someone CFWG on the cover. Just, go away.

Ugh, add to list of faces I’d like to punch.

This makes me want to blow something up.

This makes me want to go to her house and never mind the govt may be watching. but basically she goes through every race including the Jewish one (yea because i didnt know they were a race? (they arent!) and basically she gives advice on how to date them. You know because men of color come with alot of baggage and if you wanna get your kinks you best know how to tell them your not a racist or making a fetish of them and their culture!

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!! AND THIS SHIT WAS PUBLISHED?!?!?! I dont want to live on this fucking planet anymore.

Published! and shes now a “leading expert ON interracial dating” LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Why the HELL is a white woman the “leading expert on IR dating??” WHY??? *facepalm* I’m going back to staring at sexy skrippah dude, cuz this shit is raising my blood pressure…

I still dont want to live on this planet anymore. And Im taking my skripper dude wit me lol (but i’m srs! he’s mine!)

The amount of white privilege even on the cover of that book is just the beginning of the fucking problem to me.  To think that you are so wonderful, that you can write a BOOK about how to date OUTSIDE OF YOUR RACE.  WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS HOE.  And the book is titles “I got the Fever”!!!! Bloody Mary and Joseph!! This whole entire thing makes me so angry.  So fuckin angry.  This is a fetishization of men of color.  For WHITE CONSUMPTION.  I can’t.

I just KNOW the shit will be full of stereotypes. And I love how this white woman thinks she knows MoC better than WoC do. No bitch…Just…NO…. Sitcho five dolla ass DOWN.

Well, I love the implication that the only interracial dating is between white people & POC. Also all MOC love the porcelain white vagina. Except you know not. A book written by a white woman for white women with a fetish…why do I suspect part of her advice includes navigating life with their mean mean female relatives?

Every man with melanin & a pulse is so desperate they drop their pants & standards for an amnesty hump from Kitty Forman? Mk.

The fact that this woman doesn’t understand the racist implications of this cover. The fact that a white woman is now seen as the “leading expert in interracial relationships”. The fact that white with a POC is seen as the standard for an interracial relationship. The fact that a publishing house found this acceptable. The fact that all the men on this cover look like they were carved out of stone. The fact that this book is titled “I Got The Fever”.

The fact that all of the above is seen as acceptable, especially to literature is the reason POC & WOC are still very much being exoticized. 

maribelsandwhistles:
Does this depiction of what is “Mexican” bother anyone else? This was found in the September issue of Vogue. The picture was in the table of contents section, and I had to stop reading it because I became so enraged. 

Fucking ridiculous.

maribelsandwhistles:

Does this depiction of what is “Mexican” bother anyone else? This was found in the September issue of Vogue. The picture was in the table of contents section, and I had to stop reading it because I became so enraged. 

Fucking ridiculous.

THIS SHIT REALLY WENT DOWN. HOLY…….. SO..MUCH…I CAN’T.

wtfwhiteprivilege:

*BLINK*

(gif deleted for accessibility)

ghostarewe:

Some random white man on interracial relationships. 

This is the face of Present-Day Racism 

I just…can’t. Don’t. Even. Know. Where. To. Begin…


No shit.

sexgenderbody:

“Studies find that with identical résumés, those with “white sounding” names have a 50 percent higher response rate from prospective employees than do those with “black sounding” names. Whites on average outearn Latinos and blacks, with or without controlling for education. Since the Great Recession, average white net wealth has increased to 18 times that of Latinos and 20 times that of African Americans. The Latino unemployment rate is about 40 percent that of whites, while the African-American rate is 100 percent higher. Whites and blacks consume illegal drugs at similar rates, but whites are less likely than blacks to be stopped by the police, arrested or convicted — or to receive prison time once convicted — even for first-time offenders of the same crime.”

Leaning Right: How Conservative Myths Stoke Racial Fear (via robot-heart-politics)

THIS. IS. WHITE. PRIVILEGE. Straight up. No chaser. I dare a mothafucka to tell me otherwise. I DARE YOU.

(via sourcedumal)

Did I Really Expect This Guy To Prove Himself To Be Exactly What He's Pissed About Being Called? Yes. →

 ”But you, you may be 100% right about everything you said about me there, I may have white privilege (that phrase makes me cringe), I may be a misogynist and a racist and everything else you people talk about on here. But even if I am, who the fuck are you to talk to me, someone you’ve never met, about a relationship you haven’t seen, and situations you weren’t remotely involved in? You’re no one. So please, in the politest way possible, fuck off.”

Do I even have to say anything else? Didn’t think so.

Yesterday evening

when I got home and parked my car in front of my house I sat in the car for about 5 minutes talking on my phone while it was hooked up to the charger.

For the third time, a man local to our neighborhood was walking with his son coming towards my car. 

For the third time, he very obviously pushed his son to the other side of the sidewalk and kept one arm extended over him as if to protect him (from me) while he watched me with what looked like unease. 

I never knew what a difference moving 20 minutes away from Oakland would make. Damn. Just damn.